The Dyeries #1
Life with Another
If you missed my most recent post, I outlined why I launched The Dyeries newsletter series. Today, I’m excited to share the first issue! Let me know your thoughts 🤲
I got married in December 2023 to my beautiful wife, Julia Acker Dyer.
Since that day, I have spent the most time consecutively with Julia than anyone in my life. When I wake up, she’s right there. When I brush my teeth, wow, there she is. When I make food, a sous chef appears out of nowhere. When I work, she brings me tea. When I lay on the couch, she snuggles right against my chest. When I get in my car, she’s likely sitting shotgun. When I go to sleep, she’s there to tell me goodnight.
I did say “I do” to her in marriage, so it makes sense this is my life now...
Except, none of this has ever happened to me. I’ve only ever lived with my family (not to mention - I had two brothers) and a lot of different guys from the age of eighteen to twenty-seven. That is 27 years of living how I want to live and doing my own thing.
Naturally, Julia and I’s first few days together post-honeymoon were slightly different. We had some feeling out to do. A few miscommunications led to one afternoon when Julia confronted me. I was unnecessarily cold and closed off toward her in moments I genuinely didn’t know how to receive (see the list above).
Sidenote: Props to Julia for bringing up something that was bothering her a week into marriage when she could have been scared to say something and sat in angst for a few months. And, not to mention, she did it in a Christ-like, loving manner where I knew what was spoken was genuine.
Suddenly, my ways of being selfish and closed-off started to crumble. It’s like I desperately needed to be called out for my avoidance of affection to finally get it through my head that Julia fully loves me. If I’m being honest, I was scared of my little moments of imperfection that would have Julia see the real me… the real Davis that sometimes I struggle to love. Therefore, there’s no way Julia could love him.
Romans 5:8 says:
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Despite my unlovable, undesirable, disgusting, grotesque state, God sent his son Jesus to die for our imperfections so that by faith in Him, we receive eternal life. Julia and I believe this, so I don’t have to be caught up in myself and wonder if she will love me despite *insert imperfection*.
The answer is yes because I know she serves a God who also loves her despite *insert imperfection*.
Julia and I vowed to love each other through everything. Now, I’m slowly learning what this looks like on a day-to-day basis and simultaneously learning more about Christ’s love for me because of how Julia loves me.
What a gift marriage is!
❤️ only gratitude to be married to youu.